check sign from the street

I Don’t Belong Here

Posted by & filed under Writers Conference.

by Christy Hoss

The closer I got to Mount Hermon driving up Conference Drive, the tighter the knots in my stomach became. My foot left the accelerator long enough to slow down my anxious thoughts. “What am I doing? I don’t belong here. I’m not a professional writer.” I’ll be an inkwell and parchment trying to fit into an electronic world.

The Mount Hermon sign loomed into view.

I had just begun pursuing my second-grade dream of writing novels. My first attempt at chasing that dream had been sent ahead for manuscript review with great trepidation. Certainly, this was not where I belonged. I stopped the car and looked for the first place to turn around. Fortunately, vehicles lined up behind forcing me to move forward.

Pulling into the first spot by the post office, I thrust the car into park and took a deep breath. Slumping forward on the steering wheel, I startled an unsuspecting pedestrian as the horn blared with great volume announcing my arrival.

My cheeks heated 100 degrees. “I shouldn’t be here.” But God reminded me that my sister had paid my tuition because she believed in my dream. I couldn’t disappoint her. Swallowing the lump of fear in my throat, the stomach ropes tied a few more knots as I stepped out of the car.

Every lifted foot ascending the stairs to registration made me wonder if my choice of shoes that morning had been cement. The glory of majestic Redwoods next to the office shouted to me, “Keep moving upward,” and I opened the door to possibilities my conference experience would bring.

I prayed for strength, wisdom, and guidance. At lunch, I met another conferee, also there for the first time and we became BFFs. I decided I’d be a sponge and soak up as much as I could. I didn’t have an agenda and didn’t know where to start. I came in faith, trusting God hoping for direction.

God did not disappoint. The first afternoon workshop I took was “The Call to Write.” I walked into the Laurel meeting room for my “divine appointment.” Every word spoken confirmed I was meant to be there. God’s presence flooded my anxious heart, overcoming all my fears. I belonged at Mount Hermon.

With fear conquered by the grace of God, I pressed on into my first conference, gleaning information and gathering resources, meeting lifelong friends. I left feeling full and confident I was a writer walking the path of my calling.

Don’t let fear keep you from pursuing your dreams. Trust God, seek his face and he will lead you by his righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:9-10).

Christy Hoss headshotChristy Hoss caught the writing bug in second grade when she won a prize for a story about her dog. Her true story is fictionalized in Cry of the Night Bird (2012). She has written for Focus on the Family and Guideposts magazines. She writes sweet romance for adults and fun children’s stories about playing with Jesus using Bible accounts. She started Type One Editing and Writing Consultations to help writers pursue their dreams using her editing experience and advice. Christy lives in Northern California with the love of her life Kevin and they have three adult children. Visit Christy’s website at www.christyhoss.com.

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