To my slight embarrassment one fateful night, I made known to a group of strangers that it was my dream to one day become a pirate or a Jedi master. Attributes I found quite normal within myself were finally unveiled for what they were: slightly abnormal and quirky. Nevertheless, I still proudly display in my office my die-hard authentic pirate flag and official Obi-Wan Kenobi bobble head…may he rest in peace.
Lately, there have been circulations of discussions relating to who would win in a fight: Spock or Yoda. While that debate still leaves me perplexed, I feel that a comparison between pirates and Jedi Masters cannot be based upon who would ultimately win in a fight. And here’s why: to be entirely thorough in such a delicate topic, one must look at all the angles before hastily making a decision. Consequently, we will quickly take a gander at a few of these angles before coming to a conclusion.
Attire: This is ultimately an issue of comfort vs. style. While Jedis look cozy in their pajama-like hoodie-bathrobes, Pirates have the advantage of wearing many layers so they are ready for any weather, hot or cold. And they are the masters of accessorizing and eyeliner.
Weapon of Choice: Pirates do get the benefit of many options when it comes to weaponry, from the traditional sword to the cutlass or cannons, but there is nothing in my opinion that trumps a light-saber. Case closed.
Theme Music: I count this a tie. John Williams and Hanz Zimmer are both absolute geniuses. There’s nothing more chilling than Williams’ opening credits score while you watch the yellow horizontal text float into space. But then, Zimmer created a masterpiece in capturing a melodic tune that fits the heart of a pirate. I’d sail into the far off blue or jump to lightspeed with either music playing….gladly.
Powers: Well, other than backstabbing and marooning your shipmates, pirates don’t necessarily have any natural powers, unless they happen upon a magical compass that leads to their heart’s greatest treasure. Nothing beats Jedis getting to use the force.
Villains: As vomit-inducing as it is to face an undead ship of pirates, or the abominable stench of the Kraken beast, there’s nothing more unnerving than realizing the worst villain in cinema-history is your biological father. My heart goes out to you Luke.
Ship: Hmm, while the Millennium Falcon and X-wings are pretty sweet with their light-speed capabilities, I’d personally like to climb to the heights of the crows nest and gaze at the horizon.
After reviewing some of the evidence, the choice is yours. I personally will never come to a conclusion because my heart strings are far too attached to both. So for those of you who share my thirst for adventure on the high-sea and deep-space, I say to you: Keep to the code, for the force will be with you….always.